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A Nervous System Journal's avatar

I think many women resonate with feeling we need to always be productive. Doing things for just the enjoyment is new endeavor for me as well

Everything is Gray's avatar

I am also finding out just how common it is! It makes vacations and weekends complicated. Thank you so much for reading!

A Nervous System Journal's avatar

Yes! I pack an activity bag for vacations like I'm a toddler lol 😄

Everything is Gray's avatar

No but I love that idea. I guess that's also part of why I always, ALWAYS, have a book with me. Heaven forbid I sit and do nothing for 10 minutes.

Denise's avatar

Woah. This memoir is so beautiful. I can relate to what it must have felt like to be a child in the 8th grade and have your dad tell you he was disappointed in you (been there done that). What I can only imagine is being told you've disappointed him because you didn't commit to something for the rest of your life as an 8th grade. So much pressure at such a young age.

Thank you for sharing this🩷

Everything is Gray's avatar

Thank you so much for reading Denise! I am sorry that you had a similar experience. It is crazy how much pressure is put on kids to commit to something like a long term career. So happy that it resonated with you 💙

Denise's avatar

My pleasure Margaret🩶

Regina Duke's avatar

Margaret, this is beautiful. “It is taxing for a kid to constantly feel the need to explain and justify themselves” hit hard. There’s such a particular ache in being supported only after something becomes impressive enough to be understood. I loved how you held the difference between joy, performance, and belonging here — and how the rain-soaked silk became its own kind of proof.

Everything is Gray's avatar

Thank you so much for this response. I am happy that it resonated and I love your wording, “only after something becomes impressive enough to be understood.” Thank you for making me feel understood!

Steve Baker's avatar

Dear Margaret,

Reading this brought me back to my own girls. They did band, and here in Texas football is everything... but I always went for the halftime show. The color guard, the whole UIL world… it was incredible to watch.

Seeing you relearn who you are reminded me of something I’ve lived myself: some of us spend half our lives trying to be what the world expects, and the other half trying to find our way back to who we were before all that noise. You’re doing the brave part now... the returning. That’s real work, and it shows.

Steve