I enjoyed hearing about your college days. I didn't go to college first. The fashion degree part was interesting. My best friend has a fashion degree and she ended up managing Target stores. I think you made the right choice in switching majors
Thank you so much for reading! Oh man, that’s a big job though! I hope my daughter doesn’t go to college first either unless she is really truly sure she knows what she wants to do. I’d be happy with her going out and traveling or living/working in new places for a bit really see what she wants. If college is going to keep costing this insane amount it’s insane to think that a kid should be saddled with that whether or not they stick with that career for the next 50 years!
With every choice, we should understand the cost and try to make an educated decision. Going to school later, I took thought through what I might want to do and then did a reality check of job growth in the field and ran numbers for the degree.
Gosh, that feeling of being monitored for everything you were doing must have been so suffocating. Mine wasn't as extreme as yours, but when I was young my late father was ultra strict with me with what I was doing and where I was going. He didn't like the idea of me not being home at a certain time. He was never like this with my other siblings but at the same time because he was a Chinese metaphysics practioner he could read my birth chart and read my life path, it became apparent he saw something and was worried for my wellbeing. Instead of sitting down to explain this to me, he had used his strict brigadier mode to save me from myself.
I have to say though that I am glad that he did impose restrictions on me, even though I hated it at the time. I think it has helped me build a stronger outer shell and tougher inner core and I am sure your experiences has done the same for you too. Thank you for sharing your memoirs. ❤️
Oh wow, did he ever tell you what he saw?! As a mother now I can understand the impulse to see what your child is doing at all times, the worry. I hope that by building open and honest communication and a stronger foundation will mean that my daughter will share more with me so that I don’t feel the need to do that. Thank you so much for reading!
He never told me directly, because there were rules that he abided by that prevented him from telling me. But there was an instance after a car crash I was involved in and returned home he said to himself, '好彩過咗呢個劫數' which essentially meant 'thankfully you have overcome this calamity' whereby the calamity was referring to the possible end of my life. Quite unnerving.... I suppose he felt that if fate was going to play out in that way that he wanted to try and prevent it from happening through influencing what I was getting up to but also knowing that there is only so much control he could have over what I chose to do and what not to do.
Being open and communicating to your daughter and giving her the environment to be honest to you without fear is definitely the right way forward. I have much respect for you creating such a space.
I love all of your entries but this one stirred so much nostalgia for me.
When you mention Snowmageddon, are you talking about the one in February 2010? Cause if so, I was living in Northern Virginia, working in D.C., and have a couple great stories from that time!
But also just the atmosphere of discovery, independence and freedom you are describing. I too had some "move out, move back in" periods with college but ultimately graduated from college while living at home.
I remember my high school guidance counselor asked me about my plans for the future and would you believe, I shrugged my shoulders and said that I was going to stay home and take care of my Mom (who was just 50 years old)?! That counselor sucked except for her response to that, "You need to get out of your house and away from your mother and family before you decide that".
Of course my Mom never forgave me for that and was incredibly cruel when I made the move to the dorms. My brother has never truly forgiven me for leaving him there with her, which I kind of get.
Still, I can't imagine if I would have stayed. It was the first time my Mom really understood that my life was not about keeping her afloat. Today, she is relearning this lesson, over and over.
Anyways, I'm digressing into my stuff, I apologize. This entry has just stirred a lot in me and, like I remember you commenting on one of my articles, there is so much I would love to talk to you about!
Please digress! That's why we share right?! I love that we had such different home lives but still the same kind of growing experiences. Yes that was the snow storm I was referencing, it was insane! I think the moving in and out thing really shows how unprepared we were. Like nothing I learned in high school prepared me for getting my first apartment lol I'm sorry your relationship with your mom was/is a battle I am glad you were able to get out on your own and love for yourself. My parents don't need me yet but I live 700 miles away and I have felt guilty about that plenty. Thank you so much for reading again 💙💙💙
I enjoyed hearing about your college days. I didn't go to college first. The fashion degree part was interesting. My best friend has a fashion degree and she ended up managing Target stores. I think you made the right choice in switching majors
Thank you so much for reading! Oh man, that’s a big job though! I hope my daughter doesn’t go to college first either unless she is really truly sure she knows what she wants to do. I’d be happy with her going out and traveling or living/working in new places for a bit really see what she wants. If college is going to keep costing this insane amount it’s insane to think that a kid should be saddled with that whether or not they stick with that career for the next 50 years!
With every choice, we should understand the cost and try to make an educated decision. Going to school later, I took thought through what I might want to do and then did a reality check of job growth in the field and ran numbers for the degree.
Gosh, that feeling of being monitored for everything you were doing must have been so suffocating. Mine wasn't as extreme as yours, but when I was young my late father was ultra strict with me with what I was doing and where I was going. He didn't like the idea of me not being home at a certain time. He was never like this with my other siblings but at the same time because he was a Chinese metaphysics practioner he could read my birth chart and read my life path, it became apparent he saw something and was worried for my wellbeing. Instead of sitting down to explain this to me, he had used his strict brigadier mode to save me from myself.
I have to say though that I am glad that he did impose restrictions on me, even though I hated it at the time. I think it has helped me build a stronger outer shell and tougher inner core and I am sure your experiences has done the same for you too. Thank you for sharing your memoirs. ❤️
Oh wow, did he ever tell you what he saw?! As a mother now I can understand the impulse to see what your child is doing at all times, the worry. I hope that by building open and honest communication and a stronger foundation will mean that my daughter will share more with me so that I don’t feel the need to do that. Thank you so much for reading!
He never told me directly, because there were rules that he abided by that prevented him from telling me. But there was an instance after a car crash I was involved in and returned home he said to himself, '好彩過咗呢個劫數' which essentially meant 'thankfully you have overcome this calamity' whereby the calamity was referring to the possible end of my life. Quite unnerving.... I suppose he felt that if fate was going to play out in that way that he wanted to try and prevent it from happening through influencing what I was getting up to but also knowing that there is only so much control he could have over what I chose to do and what not to do.
Being open and communicating to your daughter and giving her the environment to be honest to you without fear is definitely the right way forward. I have much respect for you creating such a space.
Wow that is all so fascinating. I cannot imagine knowing whatever it was he knew and living each day. I think I would become obsessed with it.
Thank you!
Even when i want to stop reading to go get a glass of water, I cant bring myself to stop. Ill be back on May 22 -- and days before that too.
Totally understand that feeling. I appreciate you reading but also, hydrate!
I really liked the thoughtful approach you took with this - a nice mix of self-awareness and nostalgia. Enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for reading! 💙
I love all of your entries but this one stirred so much nostalgia for me.
When you mention Snowmageddon, are you talking about the one in February 2010? Cause if so, I was living in Northern Virginia, working in D.C., and have a couple great stories from that time!
But also just the atmosphere of discovery, independence and freedom you are describing. I too had some "move out, move back in" periods with college but ultimately graduated from college while living at home.
I remember my high school guidance counselor asked me about my plans for the future and would you believe, I shrugged my shoulders and said that I was going to stay home and take care of my Mom (who was just 50 years old)?! That counselor sucked except for her response to that, "You need to get out of your house and away from your mother and family before you decide that".
Of course my Mom never forgave me for that and was incredibly cruel when I made the move to the dorms. My brother has never truly forgiven me for leaving him there with her, which I kind of get.
Still, I can't imagine if I would have stayed. It was the first time my Mom really understood that my life was not about keeping her afloat. Today, she is relearning this lesson, over and over.
Anyways, I'm digressing into my stuff, I apologize. This entry has just stirred a lot in me and, like I remember you commenting on one of my articles, there is so much I would love to talk to you about!
Will be looking forward to the next!
Please digress! That's why we share right?! I love that we had such different home lives but still the same kind of growing experiences. Yes that was the snow storm I was referencing, it was insane! I think the moving in and out thing really shows how unprepared we were. Like nothing I learned in high school prepared me for getting my first apartment lol I'm sorry your relationship with your mom was/is a battle I am glad you were able to get out on your own and love for yourself. My parents don't need me yet but I live 700 miles away and I have felt guilty about that plenty. Thank you so much for reading again 💙💙💙